365 days of 40, #286-287

It's a good thing that I have already accepted the idea that Murphys law runs a film set, because when we had a massive water leak, less than 2 hours before we were scheduled to shoot, when one of the apartments above incorrectly hooked up a washing machine, I managed to take into stride.  My only panicking happened when we couldn't actually figure out where the water was coming from and not being able to stop the water from pouring out.

I was actually quite impressed with how calm I remained.  Yes, it was inconvenient, but it wasn't worth getting worked up over.  In fact, it was much easier to take a deep breath and laugh about it.   I do have a few loads of wet towels to wash, but no one got hurt and there was no other damage. The emergency clean up guy got the water all sucked up and he was walking out the door just as everyone arrived for today's shoot.  As a bonus, I'm even going to get my carpet cleaned for free, so it all worked out. 

In fact, today's adventure probably helped me stay calm before the filming began.  It gave me something else to think about, something I had absolutely no control over and I just had to remain zen about it.

Over the last several weeks, I've been thinking hard about what it would be like to act and direct at the same time. I'm used to being behind the camera and it was really hard to be in front of it. Talk about motivation for me to get some weight off, but at the same time, I really liked it. 

A lot.

Even more than I expected to.  I really do want to play the cougar in just show.  I think as long as I am very nice to work with, open to suggestions, and have a strong vision and sense of where I want to go with it, this will work. 

A few weeks ago when I talked to S, he told me a story about how he had just shot something with the director also acting in it and what a horrible situation it was to be in because she wasn't nice to work with. I have already determined, that is not going to be me.  I want to get a reputation as a great person to work with.

As I have gotten older, I recognize that my most genuine, authentic self is when I'm being nice, goofy, having fun and making others feel good.  I have also learned that getting worked up over things I have no control over isn't going to help my emotional well being. This isn't to say that I don't replay things over and over in my head, wishing I had done something differently, but letting go is so much better.  

Anyway, enough about the drama. 

Today, it was all about comedy and filming.  Which was really, so much fun.  I got to play opposite a really cute kid, it was weird, doing the whole, me being a love interest, but pretending to almost kiss him and then fall over worked. I may master physical comedy yet. 

I met some new awesome crew members and just generally had a fantastic day.  It really just reminded me of what I love to do.  Which is good, because there have been days when I've been extremely discouraged about things, especially with my job and schedule and the only thing keeping me going was the possibility of shooting.  Really doing it was just a blast.

And like any addict, once you get a taste of your drug of choice, you can't wait for your next hit.

365 days of 40, #283-285

The last few nights of getting home at after 11:30pm has made for some seriously long days.  It was all I could do to plop on the couch while I ate a late dinner and watched some Chuck then stumble into bed, brain fried.  Tonight, I am so wired and excited, I can't hardly stand it.  We're shooting the kickstarter video on Sunday with a real camera and sound guy.  I found a cute young kid to play a part in the film and make it actually seem like I'm a cougar and I've been getting more and more people interested in the show.

I am just feeling so amazingly blessed with all the people who are coming on board this crazy dream I had.  When I set the goal to launch the kickstarter on June 1st, I seriously had no idea how in earth I was going to make it happen.  It was a leap of faith.

Guess what happens when you make a leap of faith???

You have an Indiana Jones moment and realize that whatever you set your mind to will happen. 

I am beyond grateful for all the people who are coming on board to help with this because there is no way that I could do this by myself.  Each one brings something so special to the project and it boggles my mind how lucky I am to have them not only on this project but in my life as well.  Of course, now I'm getting all emotional, so it's time for me to bring this to a close. I don't want really puffy eyes in the morning. 

365 days of 40, #272-282

Life has gotten the best of me for the last little bit.

Working two jobs and not getting home until after 10pm every night has taken it's toll on me and I've felt rather zombie like. The jobs themselves really aren't difficult, I mean, working in a computer lab is cake and spending 8 hours a day talking about XBox really isn't that bad, but the hours are killer.  I've got a couple of job applications out that I'm hopeful about.  I'm also still waiting to hear about a job interview from about a week and a half ago.  Since it's up at the U, there is often a long wait as they get around to making decisions.  I'm just trying really hard to be patient.

I hate being patient.

In the meantime, I've been getting stuff ready to shoot the kickstarter video for Confessions of a Neurotic Cougar.  Slowly but surely we are moving along.  Less than one month before the campaign goes live.  No pressure at all, whatsoever.  Actually, it's really pretty cool, all the stuff that has been happening, so while there is some stress, none of it is because the project, it's more about how life is making me slightly crazy.

I'm excited about tonight though, I get to actually see my kids and hang out with them.  The house is in good shape, so we may even run away for a little while and get out of the house.  We'll just have to see.

365 days of 40, #270-271

It's official, I got my Sundance lab application in.  The is potentially one more contest that I could enter tomorrow, but I will just have to check my budget. Things are moving right along. 

My new job is actually going better than I expected.  Again, attitude is everything.  My insatiable curiosity and incessant question asking has paid off. I'm the one people want to sit by because I can help them.  Maybe that means I can get off the phones pretty quick. We'll see. 

Right now however, I'm completely exhausted, so time to shut my brain down and sleep.  I have to plan the next production meeting for Saturday.  :)