End of an era...

Well not really, but 2012 has been a better year, one of the best I've had in a long time. After today, this is the last year I will be in my thirties. Ten years ago 40 seem so daunting. There were so many things that I wanted to get done, and well some things worked out somethings didn't, but I'm really excited as I finish this on coming year.

40 doesn't seem nearly as scary as it used to be.

This last year I've made lots of strides in my life and plan on continuing to make bigger and better strides. I've been so focused on taking baby steps that I sabotaged myself because I was afraid.

I don't have to be afraid anymore, which is a fantastic feeling. For the first time in a long time I see hope and don't feel like I'm deluding myself.

I've finally put the pieces of the puzzle together, after flipping them all over and working on the edges, the picture is becoming so clear.

Last night I wrote the ending to my screenplay, and even if I change things later I know that it can be done.

By the end of January I want to set up appointments to meet with local producers, send out my scripts, and even head to LA if the opportunity arises.

January is the perfect month for lots of inspiration and networking. It's Sundance in just a couple of weeks and this year I'm going to make the most of it.

My motto this year is no more fear, I'm not going to let setbacks hold me hostage. I know I can get over them, but I would also let myself get derailed by them.

Totally not going to let that happen, ever again.

Back to the rewrite, lots to do before the kids get home and we begin our celebrations.

I can't wait for 2013! It's my year of the dragon!

It's the end of the world as we know it

Tell me, who hasn't had that song floating around in their brains for the last week. With all this talk of the apocalypse, people have gone a little nuts.

Personally, I don't believe that the world will end in an hour, or anytime in the next 24. I'm going to look at this as a new lease on life. I guess you could say I'm doing my new years resolutions little early this year.

Instead of making a lot of big ones, I'm just going to continue with a few smaller ones, building on the good habits that I've been working on this year.

This has been a really good year for me getting in shape. My arms have never been so buff, and I've never felt so strong. I'm going to continue walking and lifting weights everyday while I'm at work. I want to add doing my elliptical everyday for 30 minutes, though it will take some time to work up to the 30 minutes. I'm going to continue to make better food choices and not beat myself up if I screw up 1 day.

I'm making a concerted effort to be more attentive to my kids. These days my kids really need me. I'm really looking for new activities we can do as a family.

Finally, I'm going to get rid of distractions that are keeping me from my career dreams.

Unfortunately, they seem like the same goals that I set in the past, which of course they are but I'm already a lot farther making them happen that I have in a long time.

So, yes this is the end of my world as I know it, and I'm good with that. I only have great things a head of me.

Gingerbread house - me

My masterpiece. :)

Gingerbread house - Marquella

Marquella did a great job on her house.

Gingerbread houses - Xander

Xander's post apocalyptic house.

Life interrupted part 39.5

Life has gotten the better of me the last few weeks and I haven't taken the time to write. So many things have happened in the last month, it's hard to know where to begin.

Xander is recovering from his surgery and after several weeks of being out of school he finally went back today. Unfortunately, things didn't go quite as well as I had hoped. I think anxiety got the best of him, and he managed to work himself up into a ball of stress.  I finally just had to leave him at the school, but it was really hard because of watching the tears running down his face. His school day ended on a better note, and thankfully there are only 3 more days of school this week until Christmas break.

Marquella is doing just great and I'm so proud of her. I can't remember if I mentioned it before but she's going to district for the science fair. With all of the attention that Xander has been getting lately, it's been important for me to spend time with her. Last weekend we went and saw Brave at the dollar theater, hung out at the mall and generally had a good time together.

I finished classes, my Photoshop class was pretty cool and I learned some interesting stuff in my event planning classes. I'm torn about taking classes next semester. Yes I have free classes but I'm not sure the emotional and mental cost is worth it right now. I have too many things on my plate and I need to sit down and prioritize my life.
What I really want to do is make movies, which was really hammered home at the Utah film commission luncheon last week. I was hanging out with the people that I really want to hang out with. I need to stop using my children as an excuse and start using them as a reason.

There only 3 more days of work for me then I have 10 days off in a row. I need to take that time and clean my house and get my life in order so that next year I can focus on my career and my kids.

Forty is just a few months away and I have so much to do before then. I can't afford any more months of being "interrupted".

Day #26

So this post is just a few days late.  Life just got in the way.  Anyway, this poster is in honor of the fact that Marquella and I have been cast as chorus members in the Bluffdale Arts Council production of the Music Man for 2013. Should be lots of fun!

When do you have "the talk"?

I have 2 kids, ages 13 and 11 (almost 12) and I'm trying to figure out how to have the "talk".  

No, not the "sex talk".  We had that talk ages ago.

No, I'm talking about an even tougher topic...Santa.

It's true, I haven't had that talk with my kids because there is something about the innocence of believing in him.  I'm sure that they have heard talk about the fact that there isn't a Santa at their school or playing with friends or their cousins, but I think they still want to believe, because it's magic, and truthfully, I don't want to be the one to break their hearts.

As I watch my kids, they are getting so big (both of them are almost taller than me), but right now they still need me.  They still want hugs and cuddles and me to be there for them.  I only have a few years left with them, I need to make sure that I really make them count.


I'm not really looking forward to the day when they will be too big for that, which is why I'm not really looking forward to the day they stop believing in Santa, because when they stop believing, it means that they really are growing up and I guess I'm really not ready for that either.

Day #25

What I wish the weather was like, not this over cast hazy crap that's hanging over the valley right now.

Day #24

Woke up very cold this morning, unfortunately there was no snow.  

The cold is just making me miss my favorite beach of all time.  New Smyrna Beach, Florida.  Just south of Daytona Beach.

Day #23

Why it's important to always read the signs.

Day #22

Something to make you smile...          

...Or make you really really scared.

Day #21

Another of my drawings. For my first dragon, not to bad.