365 days of 40 #89

Happy Halloween!!! Tonight was awesome.  I got to go trick or treating with my kids and Tiff and her adorable kiddies.  I love being able to spend time with my family.

365 days of 40 #88

Completely brain dead. Must sleep. Perhaps I'll dream of quails.

365 days of 40 #87

I'm just now getting home from work.  Yes, it really is 11pm.  16 hour day today.  Lots of stuff was done, but I'm exhausted.  But dinner was awesome.  My team went to a freaking nice restaurant, and I had a hunk of steak.  I had also had a tarot card reading.  Very interesting, something I need to think more about.  For now, it's bed time.

365 days of 40 #86

Tonight's post is short and sweet. I have very little time this week to get my screenplay finished and I need to make the most of it, so for tonight, this is it. I will leave you with the awesome sunrise from this morning.

365 days of 40 #85

While my brain may be complete mush now, I was extremely productive today and I even have proof.  The laundry is done, folded and even put away which in and of itself is a huge accomplishment.  The rest of the day was spent working on my script. Restructuring a screenplay is challenging and while it feels like I'm nowhere close to finishing, I'm actually further than I was on Friday before I started this major fix.  

Earlier today, a scene I was writing that was feeling extremely familiar and I knew I had written a similar scene in a previous draft that I needed to reread.  Thankfully it didn't take too long to find, but as I was reading it, I realized just how bad of a first draft it was.  

I know that a lot of people spend time outlining heavily before starting a script.  I do a little, but I usually just have to start writing.  I wrote at least 60 pages of stuff that was just completely cut and not even referred too in this version of the script.  Some people might think that it was a waste of effort, I don't, simply because it was background for my character, especially since my all of my original notes and outlining was included in those pages.

  

Know the problem with all of those pages??? They were BORING!!!

Not a good thing in an action movie.  I had just started telling the story too early.  Once I cut all of the boring setup, the rest of the stuff I wrote wasn't nearly as bad.  It was only kinda bad.  Thank goodness for rewriting.  

I know it sounds like I'm bashing my writing, but actually, I'm feeling really dang excited about it.  I've come along way.  My story just needed time to ferment.  I would have come up with something for the rewrite, I just don't that it would have been as good.  I'm grateful that I never sent out the old draft.  It would have gotten a horrible reputation before I even got started. 

Timing is everything, and as cheesy as it sounds, my time is now! :)

365 days of 40 #84

Compared to last Saturday when I spent the day in bed, today has been a relatively productive day in many aspects of my life.   I tackled the laundry monster that has been holding my hallway hostage.  I managed not only getting the washing and drying done, but folding as well, a task that often gets ignored because I find it extremely boring.  Though I do have to say that folding warm towels is pretty nice.

I was able to able to have lunch with a friend who I haven't seen in what seems like forever.  We played catch up and I was able to get some snuggle time with a very adorable 4 month old baby.  It was nice to get a baby fix, but I was also very appreciative of the fact that I didn't have to go home and take care of said baby.  I really like the fact that my kids are getting as old as they are.  It means they can help clean around the house and I don't have to get them dressed in the morning.

I think the highlight of my day out was actually getting to play the favorite aunt for my sisters foster kids (who we hope will soon be hers permanently).  The oldest just had his birthday and he turned 9.  I decided to get him some puzzles and when I dropped off his present, we were able to do one of his puzzles together.  It was a 3D puzzle of the Golden Gate Bridge.  Good times all around.

The rest of my day has been spent working on my script.  I only have 7 days left before my script needs to be done.  Part of the problem that I'd been having with it was I could just feel that something wasn't quite right.  Today though, I was able to identify said problem and start fixing it.  That's the good thing.  The not so good thing about that however is that its a major subplot in the script and it gets introduced fairly early on, like page 25.  Needless to say, I spent the day trying to fix the structure of the script, which meant, deleting and rearranging scenes as well as writing new scenes.  This drastically changes the number of pages that need to be written, but at the same time, I can already seen how the changed I'm making are vastly improving the story, which means that all of my hard work will pay off.

Tomorrow I'm going to make an even more concerted effort to write.  I just had a lot of very good, worthwhile distractions today.  I do have to say though, because I made the decision to not turn the TV until way late and I needed a break and the rest of the breaks that I took were shorter and actually of value: the whole laundry thing comes to mind, not to mention picking up the front room and some cleaning in the kitchen.  The kitchen does need more work, but it's a lot less than it was when I got up this morning.

I think that yesterdays meeting with my inner guru was really rather helpful.  It made me see how many excuses I really do make, for no real good reason.  The biggest being that I'm not valued as an individual who has anything worth while to say, so why start now.  It's been that voice in the back of my mind that said "You keep setting goals, but never get anywhere.  You had all these things you wanted to do before you're 30 and now here you are and 40 and you still haven't gotten anywhere."

Those are some really negative thoughts.  I'm just grateful for the chance to work through all of these negative beliefs that I have about myself and move on.  The choice process has been really good helping me tackle those things that I knew I had, but hadn't ever been able to move past.  I've always known that I'm really good at self understanding and being self aware of things that I do, but I was just stuck on how to actually change.

I had different tools, but none of them seemed to really make things work for me, because I wasn 't focusing on a single goal and moving towards it on a daily basis.  I also didn't have a support network that has helped make it become a reality.  I'm grateful for the opportunity that I have to do Power 90 because it really is changing how I think about the world around me.

But it all boils down to the fact that I chose to change my life.  I've written more in the last several months simply because I chose to start keeping a blog again and posting daily (though I did have a few mis steps) I never stopped completely.  I've just kept plugging away and the words keep coming.  And I have to say that actually typing on a computer keyboard as opposed to typing on my phone is makng a huge difference.  For one, I can type pretty darn good with my eyes closed.  This allows my to just really think about the act of writing, not what I'm going to say, the words just flow through me with whereas on my phone I have to think about everything and it's not nearly as easy to correct a mistake.  This is why my blogs typed on my phone are significantly shorter.

Oh well, enough rambling now.  It's time to change out a load of laundry then go to bed.  I have a lot to do tomorrow and being well rested is vitally important.

365 days of 40 #83

There's something to be said for a natural high. I love being able to be bouncing off the walls and flying higher than a kite without actually having done anything illegal or dangerous.

Today was the first day I really got to brainstorm at work in terms of being creative for a script. I was able to work with one of the graphic designers and we came up with all kinds of ideas.  I think he really liked being able to speak the language of visuals with someone who actually got it. I'm sure the fact that I related everything to movies had absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with it. *wink wink*

It was really nice to be able to do something that I'm good at. I know that I am good with visuals and when I'm writing a script of my own sometimes the dialogue comes later. In the case of this training I could see the movie in my head before I could hear the words in my head.

Anyway, enough of my rambling about work. Tonight's power 90 class was amazing. I learn how to listen to my own inner guru. It was nice to know that I actually have the answers to the questions I'm asking or I know at least where to get them. I know what I need to do to not waste time or at least make the most of my time.

This weekend we should be really good for me because I'm planning on only working on my script, which I can do in between loads of laundry. I think if I stick to my guns and I'm really dedicated I can finish Just After a Lifetime tomorrow, which would be pretty freakin' spectacular.  I can't wait to see it done and printed out.

Besides, I don't need to worry about people not wanting to read my stuff.  I have a job because I'm creative that's a pretty good boost for the ego.

365 days of 40 #82

Today was busy, but when I got home,  I was very productive.   I picked up my front room,  and just started a load of laundry.  I also paid all my bills and did some retail therapy, got some new lotion and hair stuff. 

It's amazing how energized you feel when you can see all the stuff that you've done. It keeps you wanting to do more. 

Just finished my choice process. So this week my new belief is "I know that I'm a busy person with limited time but I can focus my time wisely to be like a laser and I won't make excuses about life getting in the way because I won't need to."

365 days of 40 #81

Today was an extremely long day, but I know that I have it all I had.  At work, I made my boss happy which is always a good thing.  I sat next to the guy that I find incredibly attractive, he smelled nice.

The highlight of my day though was going to the witches tea with M. We had a lot of fun.  There were treats, a mother daughter witch fashion show and Thriller dancing.  The only thing that would have made it better would have been if we'd actually been able to dress up.  Oh well, next year.  I the meantime, I still had a great time with my not so little girl. :)

365 days of 40 #80

Have you ever looked at a sick kid and just felt completely helpless because you know there is absolutely nothing you can do to help? That's how I feel about X. I have no idea what I can do to help him feel better.  He ended up going to the ER because things weren't improving. He got some fluids and anti nausea meds that worked for a while, but when he ate dinner, his food came right back up.  He's so hungry and feels like crap, and because I'm stressed, I've been grumpy with him.  He's finally asleep though, so we'll see how things go.  Hopefully when they get his meds switched out, things will improve.

365 days of 40 #79

I have no idea what to write about tonight.  I'm tired and still rather grumpy.  Dealing with my ex always ticks me off, especially when it just feels like he wants to annoy me as opposed to doing what's best for the kids.  Granted today, we were able to figure some stuff out and dealt with.  So for now,  because I need to get up early in the morning to write, I'm going to bed.  I'll just leave you with the view from my desk.  It's not too bad, if I do say so myself.

365 days of 40 #78

Earlier today, after I dropped the kids off at their dad's and I was driving home, I saw the hang gliders at the point of the mountain.  The sky was full of them, so I decided to go and check out the park.  It was pretty amazing.  From a distance, they look like they are just floating and not moving, but as you get closer, you can see all the details, how they use the wind to make small adjustments to stay on track, to come in for a landing or too take off.  There is a lot of work to do the take off, but once you're airborne, the hardest part is over. 

That's where I am now with my power 90 goal.

It's time to put the pedal to the metal.  While I know what my ultimate goal is, it's time to put a date on it.  My first is going to be finishing JAL. I've set my the goal deadline for the power 90 class in 2 weeks.  I think that's a perfectly reasonable goal and time line.  Really,  it's only about 25 pages give or take. 

I've done all the hard work, it's time to start flying.

365 days of 40 #76 and 77

I've been getting so busy lately,  that I keep forgetting to write every day which I find annoying, but such is life.  Last night at power 90, we imagined what it was going to be like when we finished our goal and how our life was going to be different.  Because mine is a 3 part power 90 goal,  I was celebrating what it was going to be like to have finished directing my first film.  For the first time I could really see how it was going to happen.  I could see myself having completed my film as opposed to just day dreaming about it, and believe me, there is a big difference.  I'm also excited about having such an awesome pit crew.  Between having some really awesome friends, I have my kids and they're going to be part of my journey,  which is the best part. 

This week we're supposed to pick something on our list and just do it. I've decided to start with finishing JAL. It's so close, I just need to spend the time and make it happen, and that will be my first circle,  I'll have my blue goal.  I've done all the planning, now it's just the doing, and that is actually so much easier.

I can't wait.

365 days of 40 #74 and 75

Last night was spent trying to get up the courage to send the email to the person who I wanted to be my mentor for the Power 90.  It was really rather scary, but only because there is that fear of rejection.  Thankfully the person I asked to be my mentor was more than willing and it was a huge relief.  Of course, then I was so mentally exhausted, I totally forgot to write my blog.  And tonight, my buddy is coming over and we’re going to have a girl’s night with Marquella, while Xander is going to go with her hubby and have a guy’s night. 

This is of course why I’ve decided to write my blog far earlier than normal simply because I don’t want to forget.  Sticking to a schedule is so dang hard for me when I’m juggling so many things.  Between doing the Power 90 and writing this blog, it’s been really good, trying to get me to be in the habit of doing all the little things that I need to do every day to make all of my goals happen.

Work has been amazing, though I do have to remember to sometimes just shut up.  Especially when I really have no idea what’s going on.  I just get really excited and want to contribute.  I feel really bad, so hopefully I can apologize to my boss before I leave.  I really hope that she’s not mad me. 

But other than my being a complete idiot sometimes, I really am loving my job.  I still can’t believe that I’m getting to be part of such a huge project.  I’m also learning tons about not only AMEX and their products, but what it takes to be a small business owner, which I can only see as good because when it comes time for me to act as a producer for my feature film, understanding how the budget works and where all the money is going will really help me.

I also find it really interesting, that I’m really liking the business stuff.  I’d never really cared much for it, but approaching it as if I were a small business owner has allowed me to absorb concepts that were really quite foreign to me.  I’ve also learned practical ways to do things as opposed to just business theory.  There is part of me that is like, I really could run a small business if I really wanted to.  Not that I necessarily do, but I know that I could.  Heck, when I took a shower the other day, I was thinking of all of the different ways I could start my own business which shows just how much I’ve been immersed in this whole thing. 

Of course, an independent film maker does also have to wear a producer’s hat, so I guess I would have my own small business.

Scary thought that. 

I’m glad that I’ve been able to disseminate all of the information that I’ve looked at.  Thankfully my boss really likes that I’ve been able to learn and apply it, so that’s good.

Okay, so enough rambling about the whole business thing.  It’s all good, but there is so much more.  Like stupid crushes that seem to pop up when least expected, ie, one of the guys that I work with.  I find him rather adorable.  Driving home from work yesterday, my brain was full of inappropriate thoughts about him.  Yeah, it’s been a while.  He’s another young’un,  Seriously, I never had any intention of being a cougar, it’s just kind of working out that way. 

*Sigh* Such is life.   

Now that my quick break from work is done, it’s actually time for me to go home. YAY! It’s gonna be a fun night tonight.  I’m so excited. Know what’s even more exciting than that?  Seeing my first paycheck in my bank account this morning.  Okay, done rambling. 

I just can’t believe how awesome life is.

365 days of 40 #73

I've been re employed for a whopping 7 days, but I feel like I've contributed so much more than what one would normally do in 7 days.  Probably because I have. 

This is the first job that I got hired not because of any hard skills, like computers or software knowledge, but because of the soft skills that I have, like being able to be creative and write.

Seriously, I got hired because I'm creative!!!!  They're even paying me a really REALLY good salary.

I never thought that was going to happen. How cool is that?

There is so much more that I want to write about,  but between feeling the after effects of one of my stupid vertigo attacks, and crashing after my adrenaline rush ran out, I'm completely frazzled.  In a good way.  I want to spend some time working on my script for at least a few minutes before I fall asleep, so this is short.

It's time to find my treasures at the end of the rainbow.

365 days of 40 #71 and 72

Man,  I need to be better.  My schedule got off. I need to get back on it.  For now,  just a quick one.  Tomorrow, I owe myself a much better blog.

365 days of 40 #69 and 70

So last night I missed my entry, which makes for 2 times this week. Not a great way to get back into the swing of things after getting back to work,  but I'm not letting life keep me from doing what I need to do and I'm not letting a mistake keep me from get back on track. So tonight's entry is going to be short and sweet.  I have lots to do, gotta get my power 90 goals back on track.  Good times. 

365 days of 40 #68

I've survived 4 days of work.  I'm getting back into the swing of things, but I can see how my power 90 is going to be rather challenging.  My last job was mind numbingly boring much of the time and it zapped all of my creativity.  This job I get to use all kinds of creativity which keeps my creativity battery charged, but when I get home my brain hurts and is basically mush. Both issues lead to the same problem though. When I get home, I don't write.  I just need to break the cycle.  I've got 2 projects in working on, I can just work on either one just a few minutes at a time every day.  Keeping this blog has definitely helped get and keep me in the habit of writing every day.  So I'm gonna go write a few sentences about one of my characters and take the baby steps that I need to change my life. 

365 days of 40 #67

Today was another amazing day at work.  I'm still completely amazed at not only how much I'm being allowed to contribute but that they really like my ideas and take them and run with them and improve them. 

What I liked even better was my boss's response.  She first thought I had misunderstood something, but then realized exactly what I was saying and was like, "Oh, that is really good." Then she explained it to everyone else and they had the same reaction.  It's really just nice to be appreciated.  Made me feel really great.

Of course my brain is still mush, but I'm still awake, so I'm rapidly rebuilding my endurance.  I told my power 90 buddy that I needed a couple of note days then she was to start sending me texts to get my butt in gear.  I can really see why we have buddies.  Especially in our case, we may not do it exactly as recommended, but both of us need to be able to talk things out and our works for us. 

Anyway, kinda getting rambling and loopy, so it's time for bed.  It's a new day tomorrow. 

365 days of 40 #65 and 66

So when I went to do my post, I realized that I didn't do my post from yesterday.  That was because I was so dang exhausted from work that I got home and crashed.  Yesterday was my first day back at work after being unemployed for 3 months and I forgot how tiring it could be.  Between getting up early and no afternoon nap, I was frazzled, but at the same time, I was completely jazzed about the job. 

I got this job because of my writing skills and because I can tell stories. 

I pretty much jumped in feet first and am still trying to come up for air.  I've had a ton of meetings in just these last 2 days and the rest of the week is just as crazy, but not in a bad way.  I'm contributing on a level that I've never been able to before because I never had the chance.  I'm being allowed to start at the beginning of the project and have what looks to be a pretty major voice in the project.

Needless to say the last couple of days of power 90 goals have fallen to the way side, but it's only temporary.  I'm glad that we have an extra planning week which is going to let me get back into the swing of things.  I always do better when I'm busy. I just need to change my paradigm on how I get things done, which may include, much to my dismay I assure you, the fact that I might have to get up early to write. 

Blech!

I'm so not a morning person, but what needs to get done needs to get done. I just need to find another way to make everything happen. 

For now, I'm going to go to crash. I need one more day to practice getting back to some level of functionality, then it's back to power 90 and changing my life.

40 really is turning into a banner year.

365 days of 40 #64

Today I did something that was really extremely hard to do.

I talked to my ex-husband about some kid concerns.  It managed to be a relatively calm and uneventful conversation, but I know that I had a great deal of anxiety about it because there are a lot of really complicated and hurt feelings that I'm dealing when it comes to him.  I've also decided that I really just need to not focus on him and all of the negative.  It's over, I'm a much better person for having gone through all of the struggles.  I just need to focus on my kids and be positive for them.

Besides, last night, we had a great family fun night.  We curled up on the couch and watched a movie.  We had an awesome salad that Marquella made.  She also made some cookie dough, which is always much better than actual cookies. I'm just really trying to be more engaged with them and I think they can tell.  Of course, Marquella is really starting to act 12, so I've taken to annoying her because, well, its my job. It also amuses me. :) I love that I can get her to smile even when she tells me she's never going to smile again.
Xander is pretty mellow most of the time.  He still has issues when it comes to being moody when I ask him to help, but show me a teenager who has never been moody and I'll eat something disgusting, like sushi.  I think the fact that both of the kids still want to hang out at my house along with their friends means I must be doing something right.

Anyway, I finished my Bubbl map.  It looks pretty cool.  Today I was even able to work a little bit on the TV bible.  It's just going to take me being dedicated and persistant and I'll be able to get my goals done.

Here is my positive affirmation that I'll be using to complete my Power 90 goal.  I really think it's going to help me break through all of my hangups and move forward.  It may need a little bit of tweaking to get the words just right, but I really like it.

"I'm an effervescent and freaking awesome film maker and screenwriter.  I've completed both Just After a Lifetime and the Shadowchaser TV bible.  I've successfully marketed myself to 50 agents, managers and production companies and have bought my plane ticket to LA for my new adventure."

365 days of 40 #63

I've been playing on a nifty little online program called bubbl. Yes, there really is no "e" on the end.  Anyway, it is basically a flow chart program. And really, who doesn't love a good flow chart.

I've managed to map out my goal and what I need to do step by step.  I was able break it down into its smallest parts. Aside from some minor technical difficulties with margins while trying to actually print it out, the program is really awesome. 

I am also looking forward to using it to map out some story ideas that I've tried doing with 3x5 cards, av task that I'm finding to be a little bit cumbersome right now.  For now, I think this will help me see it in a more 3 dimensional way like I see in my head, as opposed to the limits of a 2D cork board especially since I can't just download directly from my brain to a hard drive. If I could, my writing would be so much more effective.

I love how being able to break down each step into smaller and smaller chunks.  It makes it feel like I'll be able to actually be able to finish this.  Just a few days ago, I wasn't sure how I could make it all happen.

Yay for Power 90! Making my career goals come true, which in turn is making my 40th year on this earth pretty spectacular.

365 days of 40 #62

I'm excited, I have a plan now, or at least how to get the plan and what I need to do to make my power 90 goal come to fruition.

I'm blown away by the opportunity I have do this program.  It's really putting into focus how I can change my life.  I only wish that I had been able to take advantage of it sooner. 

Tonight's class was about the how, which is good, because I wasn't exactly sure how I was going to make this happen. With this program I'm getting the tools I need to take my big, huge enormous goal of making a feature length film and breaking it down into bite size chunks so the task becomes manageable. 

I'm also getting the who, the people who will help me on my journey.  I have my awesome buddy and today I got a coach, someone who can help keep me on the straight and narrow.  I'm starting to see how I can make this happen whereas before it was just this nebulous distant thing I wanted to do and I had no road map to get there.

Turning 40 has been life changing in so many ways, but I can look back and see how the last several years has got me ready to get my life turned around and moving forward.  I'm working to become whole and authentic, not an "either or" but an "and". 

As I wrote that line, a line from a song in one of my favorite musicals, Into the Woods, popped into my head.  Since I'm musically disinclined, it's impossible to sing it here, but just thinking about it makes me smile.

I also know that I'm in the right path and I've chosen the right goal to tackle these next 90 days.  That's a pretty good feeling. 

I've definitely got a new Outlook on life.

365 days of 40 #61

I got a lesson in perspective today.  After staying up ridiculously late last night to finish up the last Harry Potter book, I was completely exhausted.  I only had 2 hours of sleep before I had to get up and take the kids to school.  I managed that with relative ease, then came back home and crashed.

But after 2 days of no real productivity, I was determined to get some stuff done.  Which I did, and it was great.  It really helped to have someone to be accountable too, even if all I did was send a few texts.

Knowing that my schedule is going to change drastically next week,  I decided to take the kids to the library.  I wanted to get some writing done, and sometimes I need a change of scenery.  Unfortunately, I was just really distracted to be creative, but I did some other goal related activities and was feeling good. 

I had helped M put some books on hold, then I looked some books up and put them on hold.  It was research for my TV show, criminal procedures etc. 

True crime is also in this section and I saw the autobiography of Jaycee Dugard, the girl who survived 18 years in Hell after being kidnapped when she was 11. I checked it out and brought it home.

I started reading it, but then needed to take the kids to parent-teacher conferences, so I put it down.  Both of my kids are doing great and I'm so proud of them. 

M's dance teacher was so proud of her and all of the work she has been doing at home.  She even had M give a pep talk to the kids in her class, talking about how hard work can change you.  She started the semester not being able to do a single sit up, and can now do 30 in a minute.  She's worked so hard, it's amazing to see.

X is doing really well in his classes as well.  After a rocky start with his tummy troubles, things are really starting to click. I admit I was really worried about how he would handle going back to school full time.  And he's doing great.  His engineering class is his favorite and his teacher really appreciates how responsible he is, especially since the rest of his class is really obnoxious.
Afterwards, we went and got an ice cream cone and came home.  Shortly after we got home, I started reading again and this is where I gained a whole new perspective.  Just the simple act of going to the drive through is something we take for granted.

As I read Jaycee's story, it was hard to imagine how a little girl could go through so much and come out on the other side, stronger for having gone through it.   One of the things that really struck me was the diary she kept in captivity, especially in the last few years before she was rescued.  In the excerpts, she posted her affirmations of who she wanted to be.   She was seeking to take control of her life in a situation where she had absolutely no control of herself or the babies that she had while in captivity.

As she reflected on what she learned and was working towards, her spirit which had been beaten down and even broken, was beginning on the journey to becoming whole. I could go on and on, it was truly inspiring, but it's really her story to tell. 

Besides, I have own unique story to tell.

In my life, I've never faced anything like she went through, but I've had my share of struggles.  My challenge has been to let go of things in the past that have happened and have no way to change. 

I'm letting go of my mistakes and broken hearts. 

I'm ridding myself of toxic relationships and making better choices when it comes to inviting people to be a party of my life.

I'm not going to beat myself up for just being me, cause I'm not took bad.

I'm letting go of my fears of failure and success and rejection.  They happen to everyone.  Really, the ones who truly fail are those who quit. 

So as I fully embark on my power 90 journey of self discovery, recognizing and acknowledging my self worth and becoming my authentic self, I'm sharing my goal and reasons why with the Universe.

It's appropriate that since my blog is called the ramblings of a neurotic filmmaker, my first goal is film related.

My first goal has many steps, but I have a good game plan.  I'm going to finish up my Just After a Lifetime script and the Shadowchaser TV Bible.  Once those are done, I'm going to send query letters out to producers and agents, and hopefully set up opportunities to go to LA and pitch and sell my scripts. I've even signed to to take a class called, How to get an Agent.

My second Power 90 goal is going to do everything for my Watch Me Disappear script to bring it to life, taking it into preproduction, so that my third Power 90 goal is shooting not just a feature film, but my film. The one that I bled and agonized over.

My affirmation is "I am a gifted and talented screenwriter and director with unique vision and powerful stories to tell. "

Yeah, I'm good with that.  :)

365 days of 40 #60

I've had a lot on my mind, but also been feeling overwhelmed by this and the last 2 days, I've been less than productive, at least if you were to look at the state of my house.  But I've been recharging creatively and physically.  In just a few days, I'm going to be going back to work full time and I'm not going to have the time like I've had. I've also needed to finish what I started, which was to reread the Harry Potter series.  This summer I spent a ton of time watching tv, but its doesn't recharge me like reading.  The tv hasn't been turned on for days.  The series is an amazingly intricate plot that had been inspiring my brain as I work through different story problems.  I'm almost done with book 7, and then I'll get back to working on life, power 90 and everything I else I need to do, but for now I'm doing exactly what I need to be doing for me.

365 days of 40 #59

Can't believe that it's already October.  The holidays are fast approaching. I'm excited to really be able to enjoy them this because I'll actually be making some good money. 

Today was a bit challenging though.  I was really hoping to start work this week, but some administrative delays and the powers that be have decided they want me to start on Monday.  I'm extremely grateful for my job, but all the waiting and anticipation made today a less than effective day. 

Tomorrow will be better. 

I've got just a few more free days and I have lots of goals to get started and finished before getting back to full time work.  In the meantime, I'm going to continue to enjoy the rest of my less than productive day by reading.

Life really is good.