I was able to able to have lunch with a friend who I haven't seen in what seems like forever. We played catch up and I was able to get some snuggle time with a very adorable 4 month old baby. It was nice to get a baby fix, but I was also very appreciative of the fact that I didn't have to go home and take care of said baby. I really like the fact that my kids are getting as old as they are. It means they can help clean around the house and I don't have to get them dressed in the morning.
I think the highlight of my day out was actually getting to play the favorite aunt for my sisters foster kids (who we hope will soon be hers permanently). The oldest just had his birthday and he turned 9. I decided to get him some puzzles and when I dropped off his present, we were able to do one of his puzzles together. It was a 3D puzzle of the Golden Gate Bridge. Good times all around.
The rest of my day has been spent working on my script. I only have 7 days left before my script needs to be done. Part of the problem that I'd been having with it was I could just feel that something wasn't quite right. Today though, I was able to identify said problem and start fixing it. That's the good thing. The not so good thing about that however is that its a major subplot in the script and it gets introduced fairly early on, like page 25. Needless to say, I spent the day trying to fix the structure of the script, which meant, deleting and rearranging scenes as well as writing new scenes. This drastically changes the number of pages that need to be written, but at the same time, I can already seen how the changed I'm making are vastly improving the story, which means that all of my hard work will pay off.
Tomorrow I'm going to make an even more concerted effort to write. I just had a lot of very good, worthwhile distractions today. I do have to say though, because I made the decision to not turn the TV until way late and I needed a break and the rest of the breaks that I took were shorter and actually of value: the whole laundry thing comes to mind, not to mention picking up the front room and some cleaning in the kitchen. The kitchen does need more work, but it's a lot less than it was when I got up this morning.
I think that yesterdays meeting with my inner guru was really rather helpful. It made me see how many excuses I really do make, for no real good reason. The biggest being that I'm not valued as an individual who has anything worth while to say, so why start now. It's been that voice in the back of my mind that said "You keep setting goals, but never get anywhere. You had all these things you wanted to do before you're 30 and now here you are and 40 and you still haven't gotten anywhere."
Those are some really negative thoughts. I'm just grateful for the chance to work through all of these negative beliefs that I have about myself and move on. The choice process has been really good helping me tackle those things that I knew I had, but hadn't ever been able to move past. I've always known that I'm really good at self understanding and being self aware of things that I do, but I was just stuck on how to actually change.
I had different tools, but none of them seemed to really make things work for me, because I wasn 't focusing on a single goal and moving towards it on a daily basis. I also didn't have a support network that has helped make it become a reality. I'm grateful for the opportunity that I have to do Power 90 because it really is changing how I think about the world around me.
But it all boils down to the fact that I chose to change my life. I've written more in the last several months simply because I chose to start keeping a blog again and posting daily (though I did have a few mis steps) I never stopped completely. I've just kept plugging away and the words keep coming. And I have to say that actually typing on a computer keyboard as opposed to typing on my phone is makng a huge difference. For one, I can type pretty darn good with my eyes closed. This allows my to just really think about the act of writing, not what I'm going to say, the words just flow through me with whereas on my phone I have to think about everything and it's not nearly as easy to correct a mistake. This is why my blogs typed on my phone are significantly shorter.
Oh well, enough rambling now. It's time to change out a load of laundry then go to bed. I have a lot to do tomorrow and being well rested is vitally important.
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