365 days of 40 #64

Today I did something that was really extremely hard to do.

I talked to my ex-husband about some kid concerns.  It managed to be a relatively calm and uneventful conversation, but I know that I had a great deal of anxiety about it because there are a lot of really complicated and hurt feelings that I'm dealing when it comes to him.  I've also decided that I really just need to not focus on him and all of the negative.  It's over, I'm a much better person for having gone through all of the struggles.  I just need to focus on my kids and be positive for them.

Besides, last night, we had a great family fun night.  We curled up on the couch and watched a movie.  We had an awesome salad that Marquella made.  She also made some cookie dough, which is always much better than actual cookies. I'm just really trying to be more engaged with them and I think they can tell.  Of course, Marquella is really starting to act 12, so I've taken to annoying her because, well, its my job. It also amuses me. :) I love that I can get her to smile even when she tells me she's never going to smile again.
Xander is pretty mellow most of the time.  He still has issues when it comes to being moody when I ask him to help, but show me a teenager who has never been moody and I'll eat something disgusting, like sushi.  I think the fact that both of the kids still want to hang out at my house along with their friends means I must be doing something right.

Anyway, I finished my Bubbl map.  It looks pretty cool.  Today I was even able to work a little bit on the TV bible.  It's just going to take me being dedicated and persistant and I'll be able to get my goals done.

Here is my positive affirmation that I'll be using to complete my Power 90 goal.  I really think it's going to help me break through all of my hangups and move forward.  It may need a little bit of tweaking to get the words just right, but I really like it.

"I'm an effervescent and freaking awesome film maker and screenwriter.  I've completed both Just After a Lifetime and the Shadowchaser TV bible.  I've successfully marketed myself to 50 agents, managers and production companies and have bought my plane ticket to LA for my new adventure."