New beginnings...

I decided it's finally time for me to start writing in this blog, after all, I started it years ago. For a long time I kept a blog on Myspace, but it's been forever since I've been on there so obviously it's been a while since I blogged on it. I am now keeping a blog on another site, but it's still private or should I say anonymous. It's my journey to get my weight under control and right now, I don't really want anyone I know to read all my whining about being pathetic and all that. Granted there were a few other things on there, but that one is mostly weight loss and since life has been crazy, I haven't updated that for a while simply because the whole weight loss thing hasn't been going very well. I've been doing a blog for my job on Facebook, called “Diary of an Intern” but things have been so crazy hectic there, that I haven't had a chance to write anything for it for a while, though this week I should write another one, it's time. I'm back to doing my morning pages as I'm doing the Artist's Way again and holy cow, it's been amazing the stuff that I've been writing. Lots has been on my mind, but it's taken to writing those pages to get it all down. Still long ways to go, but it's started. It's time for me to get back to my blogging.

Which brings me back to this blog. You would think that I've got enough blogs floating about, but apparently I don't. This one will be for all of the people that used to read my blog on Myspace and maybe a few new people along the way.

I think for a long time, all the words got kinda plugged up. I couldn't seem to write anything at all, no stories or blogs or journal entries, nothing. It was bad last semester, especially since I was in a writing class and couldn't seem to come up with any ideas at all. I couldn't get find the words let alone get the words out. Everything was just locked. I knew something needed to change which is why I decided to go back to doing the Artist's Way. The first assignment that you have to do is write 3 pages every morning, just random train of thought and all of a sudden, once I started, I couldn't stop and the words have been pouring out ever since. I needed to get rid of all of the negative thoughts that were inside my head so I could move on and go back to doing what I'm best at, writing.

For the first time in a long time, I'm totally psyched about writing, especially working on my screenplays. I'm sure that the fact that I'm graduating in less than 11 weeks has something to do with that. School is amazingly good at sucking all of the creative juices out, even for someone who has a minor in writing. In the last few days, I've set myself a game plan in motion for the next year in a variety of areas, really designed to help me finish up all the loose ends in my life and get ready to tackle the next part of my journey of life.

It's nice, I don't feel like I'm in limbo anymore. For several years, I just felt like I was floating around and even though there were things I wanted to do, I was completely unfocused and just didn't know exactly what was going on in my life to get to the next step. I'm sure a lot of that stemmed from the fact that I was still trying to recover from my divorce. It seemed like just as I was starting to feel like normal about my life and getting over the divorce when 2009 happened. Let's just say I'm glad that year is over and not dwell on any more negativity about it. I'm done being a victim. Everyone has shit that happens to them, but it's really how you deal with everything that shows your true character.

2010 has been an interesting year so far and now that I'm almost ½ through it, I can honestly say it's far better than it was last year.

School is almost done, I have a great internship and learning a ton of stuff with that and hopefully will even make some money soon. In the next two weeks I am going to finish one and hopefully two one sheets (which basically sum up my scripts so that I can get funding for them). It's amazing how hard they are, but I feel confident in my ability to carve something out. Action!!! is starting to make the rounds on the festival circuit which is exciting and we just got word that it will be in a comedy festival out in LA which is very exciting. So school and career stuff seems to moving along at an acceptable pace.

My love life on the other hand leaves something to be desired. I'm working hard to get over my ridiculous obsession as I have grown completely annoyed with unrequited love. It's time to work on finding someone who actually wants to be with me. What a concept I know. Not sure if I can handle it, but should make life definitely more interesting. Though for at least the next 11 weeks, I'm content to stay single. Just don't have the time. Of course, I won't turn down a date with Nathan Fillion should the opportunity arise. :)

Life is feeling pretty darn good these days. That's certainly not to say that I don't feel completely overwhelmed and frustrated when things don't go my way, but I'm working hard on not dwelling on them. Life happens, deal with it. Time to stop letting all the little annoyances of life stop my from moving forward with my life. I have completely amazing kids who bring so much more joy than I ever could have imagined. I have great, uplifting friends who inspire me to continually better myself and excited because I'm making many more friends who are bringing out the best in me. While I haven't completely outgrown Daytona Beach, I know the time is coming, but not yet. Right now, I'm quite content to stay here for a while as I flex my muscles and get ready to branch out and move on.

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”

~Mark Twain