The carrot or the stick

Have you ever wondered what motivates you to do something and why you would go out of your way to do it? Or not as the case may be.  

The summer has been really hard for me, I know I've wasted a lot of time when I could have done something more productive. Part of the problem was that the kids were home during the day and I wanted to play with them. Sometimes we just sat around and watched marathon episodes of Psych or Burn Notice or most recently Hell on Wheels. The stress of not finding a job right away has also been weighing heavily on me, and really hasn't helped my creativity at all.

But as of Monday, the kids are back in school and I need to find something that is going to help me be more productive when it comes to my writing, my job, and moving forward in my career as a filmmaker.

The last few days I've been thinking continuously about two different projects, just after a lifetime, (the Italian script) and my television series idea. Then there are the random scenes from other projects that keep popping up in my head when I'm trying to focus on something else.

Oh well, at least the creativity is finally coming back, even if the organization to get things done isn't... yet. I'm actually feeling pretty good and I almost have the confidence to think that both ideas are cool.

Just after a lifetime is almost complete, three quarters of the way done. I'm just struggling with writing the last action sequences before the end. I've got lots of scenes in my head, that unfortunately I just can't seem to get them on paper. I guess that is the problem of all writers everywhere. I really want to take advantage of the fact that the kids are gone and I'm still not working and finish up the script in the next week or so. I know it can be done, it's not that many pages, especially when I get going.

Want to know what is really helping me move forward?

I really, really want to talk to you know who.

Of course that's really bad for my mental well-being, but I just can't seem to help myself. There's just something about being able to talk to him that keeps me going when all other things that should be motivating me aren't. And the reason for my particular deadline? His birthday is coming up, and I want to be able to talk to him and tell him that I finished my script. 

Pretty stupid right?

I should be focusing on getting my script ready to sell or at least send off to different producers or managers or other people that are in the position to help me get my film made, but I keep thinking about him. I guess there's part of me that knows I'll be putting myself out there, but if I just start with sharing with just one person it might be easier to send out to others.

Of course, I really want him to like the script, so that actually might help me make it a better script in the long run.

Who knows? But I better get going,  I don't have that much time left.